Monthly Archives: December 2020

The Beholder (121)

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The lighthouse. It stood there sturdy, for years and years. Rusting over with each snowfall that pelted its soul so harshly, as pieces of itself fell into the icy waters below. Standing strong, though tattered and torn; because it had a purpose. The search light on guard for that electric energy that once lit up the heart of that little lighthouse, in the icy cold air of the north. Finding many glamorously adorned sailboats, the lighthouse ached for that ballsy little raft it had once seen come into its line of vision yet again; and so it stood strong in wait. 

Finally , on one cold winter day, when the lighthouse thought it could no longer continue to hold itself up, a raft appeared in the distance. Torn apart and gutted, rotten and used up; it floated under the lighthouse in shame. The lighthouse  did something it had never done before. The lighthouse lit up from all angles, illuminating the entire lake with its beaming joy and gratitude.  It had never seen a more beautiful sight than this rotten, ragged raft. The raft rested briefly under the worn out lighthouse, until it was ready to patch itself up and move on with its journey. Eventually, on one crisp autumn day , the patched up raft floated away gracefully; continuing its miraculous journey. Shortly after , the lighthouse illuminated the lake for the very last time. Crumbling down with dignity, the ancient lighthouse finally collapsed. Each piece of it floating freely in the water, in pure and total;

 Fulfillment 

Just A Memory Away (121)

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“Its really you!” I exclaimed with tears streaming down my face as I caressed your beard with my shaky, glowing hand. “It is so” you chuckled, that laugh penetrating my into every cell of my crystalline body. “I saw what you wrote, and I think you deserve an answer to your feeling of loneliness and loss. You need to know that you aren’t wrong, and as such I have something to show you”. You motioned me to follow you. The closer we got, the more in focus  a glowing door became. Behind the door was a melodic tune, and flashing blue and silver light. It was our song. “How did you know about this song..” I inquired.  “Open the door, if you will” you replied, ignoring my question as per usual. Your eloquence strong , poise unparalleled;  I gladly obliged. I opened the door, and my whole body filled with a warm ,bright feeling. The taste of rose lemonade, the smell of your favourite cologne; I felt your big hands intertwined in mine. Your glowing eyes full of soul, and passion. Passion for me, for us and for humanity stared back at me for the very first time. I looked around. We were in sand. The ocean waves just feet from us as you pulled gently on my arm towards a teal creature of new, perhaps a bird of sorts? “LETS PET IT!!!” You yelled, running after it laughing ; with your warm, strong hands holding mine the entire time. I had never seen you this happy. “What is that!?” I screamed in horror and inquisition. “ A Paragu , I thought you said you finished grade 3 babe”, you replied cheekily. Snapping out of my bliss and realizing that I didn’t have much time here, and that no such creature exists in the reality i must go back to; I grabbed your shoulders and looked into your eyes.You didn’t blink once. Staring fearlessly right back into mine for the very first time, you asked what was wrong. Melting yet grieving , I cried in question. “Why can’t this be our lives, why cant you love me”, I pathetically begged; tears streaming down my face. Wiping away my tears, you kissed my forehead and explained ever so cryptically .“This IS our life, can’t you see;  this Is why you hurt so much”.  I don’t understand!” I cried, and threw a fit. Your facial expression somber, you explained further. “You are picking up on how it truly is, how we are ; and you feel us so.” My beliefs unraveling, I begged to stay.  Shaking your head, you continued. “You must remember that we both made this contract together, and so far we are doing well, we must not quit now” , you said sternly. 

“How can I ever let you go when I now know this “, I inquired; half regretting the moment of bliss we spent together.  “ It will be I that will have to let go , and you know this,” you replied; a tear fell from your face and onto the sand. Suddenly, a  slideshow of the things that have rapidly flew by since we last parted had been projected into the light green sky like a movie reel. Such self induced torture.. You smiled sheepishly at me as the idiocy flew by and now I was the one shaking my head.  It was then that the  scene got fuzzy, and the teal bird had disappeared.  “One last thing, Mo Anam Cara..”  Your voice dissipated as mine cracked whilst yelling “Anything!”.   “You must know that it would have been far too easy WITH you. It is WITHOUT you that I must try, to finally be deserving of us; in EVERY reality.” The song resumed in the distance, and your sapphire eyes were the last thing to disappear. It was only the sound of the trumpets that remained, the vibrations of them moving through my grief stricken soul;  as I realized that you will never get to say goodbye. Tearful and awake, I felt a calm wash over me. I will always be with you, no matter where I go. Love is like the air that we breathe. Inside of us always, it transmutes and redistributes when you think it is lost. Love is never lost. I beg of you , my only love; to hold onto these words . Like a boomerang, I promise the;

My love will come back around