October 2020 Summarized

October  was about Respect, Tough Love and Willpower. 


October 2020 was about choosing to show kindness to another that was NOT shown to me in the past by others . To lead by example. To be strong enough to  terminate a connection that HIGHLY benefited me simply because I knew I didn’t return the same intense feelings. I showed this soul the kindness that was not shown to me in the past, by respecting him enough to say goodbye and not use and abuse his time, effort and affection. Sometimes the “ right thing to do ” doesn’t feel good, and is very hard. October was about learning that to be worthy of an equal, I must first be kind enough to set free any “safe bets”, “trauma-bonds”, and “distractions” first and foremost. I am doing this all for you , because you are me;  as I am you. 

Trauma bond

October was about understanding that when  in a trauma bond, I only see what I want to see, not what is truly in front of me. I have successfully closed a door , and the door has disappeared behind me. Sometimes conclusions have to happen in your own mind , not in physical. You have to take decisive action and stick to it no matter what kind of emotional withdrawal symptoms may arise. More of this outcome below.

Willpower + Tough Love

Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for a loved one who is self destructive is to walk away and let them hit rock bottom. Only at rock bottom will they (hopefully) see the error of their ways.  Only  someone who understands and practices true ,unconditional love can appreciate this sentiment.  

In Conclusion

October was a month for clearing of stagnant and harmful energy, beliefs  and negative repetitive actions, for trusting in the future of my own unique journey. It was a month of practicing ego sacrifice in vulnerable, authentic service to others. October has been a chance to lead by example, to practice what I preach; and to learn the hard and uncomfortable lessons in unrequited love, toxic patterns, and moving on with grace

WHAT a gift October was,  WHAT a gift

The Sapphire Ash of Wishes Past

With the sapphire ash of wishes past , I let go of possibilities so vast .

With the sapphire ash of wishes past , I release you ;as this spell is cast.

With the sapphire ash of wishes past , I am no longer your trusty mast.

With the sapphire ash of wishes past , your role so soon ; to be recast.

With the sapphire ash of wishes past , all of your chances have indeed fore-passed.

With the sapphire ash of wishes past,On this sacred night ; I blow away my very last.


Out of this jaded vessel of exhaustion and torment, a vibratory melody penetrates the ionosphere; into the ethers.  The 1’s, a sweet memory of times past in our own evolutionary progression. A bittersweet symphony of gentle reminders to those in lower grades. Yes we have all been there. To my beloved 1’s.  May you learn your lessons the easy way, without resistance ; flowing with the failures and valuing the growing  pains as gentle gifts from the divine.May your frustration  be absorbed by us of light, transmuting such a familiar pain.  May you be jolted awake by the laws still unbeknownst to you in this sweet density of duality.  May you stand strong in my own position with the same gentle understanding and love for your class of 1’s. In love , and in light, 

So mote it be